9 Most Hilarious Announcements on Southwest Airlines
‘Now our flight attendants will demonstrate the safety instructions.’ We hear those words and everybody is prepared to face the most boredom inducing 10 minutes of the flight.
But not on Southwest Airlines.
The airline has always mixed humour, sarcasm and unconventionality in every form in order to amuse its customers. The employees love their job and it shows.
I was going through a Quora answer about the funny things the airline employees have said or done through the years and have listed down my favourite picks for the list.
1. Get ready for the chase.
The flight was delayed by an hour already. People were pissed off and an emotionless apology of the delay wouldn’t have helped. So, the captain took the mic and said, ‘Don’t worry, we’re gonna fly this thing like we stole it.’
2. Run away! It’s Mom.
What do you do when you’re a pilot and your mom is boarding the flight you are flying? You make her comfortable. No, you run away!
This was the pilot, “I’ve just been informed that my mother has just passed security and will shortly be boarding this flight using one of my crew passes. If you all sit down fast, we should be able to get out of here before she arrives“.
3. Your safety first. Others don’t matter.
The best safety instruction ever: “In case the cabin pressure goes down, please put on your oxygen mask first and then assist your child. If you don’t want to assist the child, it’s ok — we will not judge you.”
OR
“Although we never anticipate a change in cabin pressure… because if we did, we wouldn’t have come to work today…. If you’re traveling with a small child, what were you thinking? Put your mask on first and then help them with theirs. If you are traveling with multiple young children, assist the one with the most potential first and then work your way down.”
4. You can smoke in fresh air.
For smokers, long flights become even more unbearable. Well Southwest can help!
“We have two smoking sections on this aircraft, both of which can be accessed by using the exit doors over the wings once we reach our cruising altitude.”
5. You cannot turn on the Air Hostess.
Air Hostesses are hot. Whether you accept it or not, they have been a part of our fantasies and who wouldn’t want to turn them on by the push of a button. Sadly you can’t.
“There is a button with a picture of a light bulb on it. If you push it, the light will turn on. Also there is a button with a picture of a flight attendant on it. If you push that one, no, you will not turn on the flight attendant.“
6. Well, nobody gives a heck.
What do you do when somebody doesn’t like your service? You apologize and listen to the feedback or you could add some humour and say, “If you don’t like our flight, there are eight emergency exits. Feel free to walk out any time.“
7. Wedding in Vegas? NO
The flight attendants at SW are funny most of the times and approve of stupidity with a slice of sarcasm. But one thing they do not approve of, is a wedding in Vegas.
“For those here to gamble, good luck! For those here to take in a show, have a great time… For those here to get married… WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU THINKING!“
8. Keep your promises, even after landing.
No matter how brave heart we are, we are dreaded when the plane lands shaky. One one such instance the SW pilot announced, “that was a rough one, and since you have all survived, we expect you to keep all those promises that you just made!”
9. Remember us.
Sometimes, they even get emotional. Once before deplaning, “I now release you into the world. Be good to each other, call your mother and eat your vegetables!”
If you have had any such amusing experience, feel free to add them here.
I wrote the post originally on my own blog. Hope you don’t feel neglected! ;)
